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How to conquer NYSC Camp like a Pro

nysc camp on floor
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If you’ve recently graduated and you’re planning to hit the NYSC camp for the 1-year mandatory service…this post is for you.

Most Nigerians went through this with no idea of what to do. No worries, the TalkAbout team is here to give you some advice about what to buy, take with you and a few other stuff.

1. Buy white Football shorts instead of those Akubes.

Football Shorts

The usual advice given ahead of NYSC camp is “get a nice set of Akube shorts”, which are nice but they get dirty easily, making you susceptible to unwanted public exposure and in most cases limit movement especially during morning drills and parade practice.

Football shorts are thankfully longer now and also very elastic, just imagine having a set of nice England jersey shorts……..unleash your inner Harry Kane or Jodie Taylor on the field. 

2. Get cheap Leather sneakers.

The white fabric NYSC sneakers are a major burden, they get dirty fast, make your feet sweat and need some form of cleaning every night. 

So why not get Cheap leather sneakers, they’re very comfortable, very easy to clean and they’ll look pretty cool on you. 

3. Get foot cushions for them jungle boots.

Versatile and stylish in 1986, but super uncomfortable…….you’re better off walking down a rocky road barefooted on a sunny day. To avoid this, get yourself some nice foot cushions to stuff into them boots or better still, let’s start an online protest asking the NYSC big daddies to make our Jungle boots more like city kicks! 

4. Carry lots of Provisions unless your middle name is Davido.

Nysc provisions

Cornflakes, biscuits, drinks, snack, a live chicken…….the essentials. You wanna have as much stuff as possible. For some, the camp food can be sh**** depending on what state you’re in.  

If your pocket is as deep as Nigeria’s problems, then head to the mammy market and flex to your heart’s content or just get yourself some affordable three square meals. Either way, you need to be well fed ahead of the unnecessarily stressful camp activities. 

5. Eat the camp food at your own peril. 

cooking camp food

The kitchen will most likely serve bread and tea every day which isn’t bad unless you’re lactose intolerant……good luck keeping up with a running stomach while doing morning drills. Not lactose intolerant? Don’t forget food poisoning………let’s just call it Banzai eating. 

5. Carry cash……lots and lots of it! 

Cash in hand

The Davido middle name guy…..calm down! When we say “Carry lots of cash” we mean something to last you for a month. Prepare your mind, you’re not going to the MET gala, most NYSC camps are usually situated in places far from civilisation which means no ATMs. 

Just carry at least N25,000, this should be enough for the next 3 miserable but fun weeks of your life……depending on what camp you end up in. 

Remember, be creative with the way you keep your cash…….you’ll be in a room with 40 strangers for the first few days. 

6. Make Friends ASAP! 

Nysc with friends

This is what the NYSC was made for……bring people from different parts of the country together, hows that going? Anyway, you’ll need to make friends with people in the camp, especially in your platoon……..information doesn’t travel fast, thanks to poor network connections. 

With camp friends, information travels faster, you don’t look like a JJC at social gatherings and who knows, you might find love……..the Super Eagles are more likely to win the World Cup before that happens lol! 

7. Get a 4G booster. 

That tiny signal that you only get from one side of your bed could actually work to your advantage with the use of a 4g booster. Lord knows how much boredom could be alleviated with some online twitter banter!

8. Do not join a group, unless you’re a lazy ass. 

NYSC red cross member

At the beginning of camp, you’re gonna see a lot of people trying to join the OBS and Redcross don’t be like them. Think of the NYSC Camp as a sh**ty retreat from the boring chaos that is your state. Try to take part in camp activities or don’t……makes no difference as you don’t have any mandatory responsibility like the OBS and Redcross peeps. 

Enter camp with an open mind and experience turns in a no stress one…….akant coman goan kee mysef. 

9. Sleep early.

At the NYSC camp its best to sleep as early as possible, you don’t want to be on the bath queue with just your towel on, when that annoyingly happy soldier who never seems to sleep starts blowing on the bugle shouting “corfers! Your day has started!” Get dressed ASAP! These guys have your time. 

10. Get a power bank.

Power bank

If there was a one million Mah power bank, we would advise you to get one as the light situation in most camps is dreadful. 4hours of light daily in some NYSC camps is a big blessing and to top it all up, each 40 man room is equipped with at least 20 sockets………with a percentage not working. 

A 10,000 Mah power bank should be up to the task, unless you live on your phone. 

11. Make sure you have an earpiece.

earpiece

This cannot be overemphasized! The boring SAED lectures will leave your flying around wonderland into the trap of one bored soldier…….scapegoat! With the earpiece you can listen privately to some loud music (if you have a bomb playlist), the radio…..unlesss you’re in the north (good luck translating) or just listen to some engaging podcasts or audiobooks. 

12. Carry lots of face towels. 

Nigeria is really hot and humid especially in the Northern and southern regions, most of the camp activities will be done outside…….so its gonna be a sweat fest. You need as many face towels as possible unless you’ll be forced to buy those cheap hankies that just move the sweat around your face.

13. Fanny pack. 

fanny pack
Ps. You will not look cool in your NYSC all whites.

An awesome fanny pack is key to a great camp experience.  A big fanny pack could be the difference between a lost phone and a well-hidden stash of money that’s always close to you. 

14. Do not get a camp babe unless love (for boys)

nysc camp love

This could be the difference between leaving camp broke and having enough money to flex on your last few days. It’s just three days, this is 2019, love at first sight doesn’t even work on Tinder….shine ya eyes. Nigeria is more likely to have constant light before this happens.

Don’t catch feelings only to find out she’s moving back to Abuja to meet her rich fiancé, yes, life can be a b*****  so make lemonades and drink Vodka or something. 

15.  Do not join Mr Macho if you’re not buff

Mr. macho nysc corper

This isn’t supposed to be here, but we’ve seen a lot of skinny and chubby guys who think they’re buff enough to win the prestigious Mr Macho event……….only to end up being the camp’s laughing stock overnight.

If you don’t have yam tubers for arms and rock hard pebble abs then walk away and begin your fitfam journey from a distance. 

16. Use the “any wash” ladies for your whites. 

You can’t avoid it, you’re gonna get dirty AF! Unless you like stress, we advise you employ the services of the any wash ladies, they do a very good job of making the shirts whiter than bobrisky’s face. Besides, these women go through great lengths to pay for workspace in the camp, the least you can do is patronise them. 

With all these said, we hope you have a great time in camp and if you’re already in camp……..too late, enjoy!

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